Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
