I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize