it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
