i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
