Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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