i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My vagina just recognized that song.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
