You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
