When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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