I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
