I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
