How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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