I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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