On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
