His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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