ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
