remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
