and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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