Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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