Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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