I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
