Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
