yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
