three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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