So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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