TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
honey bunches of taint.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
