So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
so much tequila, so little girl.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
