I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
