Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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