Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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