Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
