Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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