its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
