There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
