is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Alive.
So much puke
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
