I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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