drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think i have herpe
just one?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
