he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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