I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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