garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We are all done wearing pants today
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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