What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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