Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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