How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
