I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
