I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
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Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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