Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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