That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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