I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
