According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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