she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
