Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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