how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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