Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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