Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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