Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
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She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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