I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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