I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There's even glitter on my cock...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
