Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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