Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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