Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
