thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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